Saturday, March 29, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
radio
"
A:Why does robinhood rob from the rich?
B:Because there's nothing to take from the poor
A:I hit your cat
B:uhh, I don't think so, what did it look like?
A:... kind of flat and runny
B: I meant before you hit it!!
A: ... uhh, scared (?)
Romans: We conquored the world.
Greek: We invented math
Romans: We invented sex
Greek: yeah, but it took the french to introduce it to women
"
oh hehe, say this horsy's name real fast
"hoof hearted"
A:Why does robinhood rob from the rich?
B:Because there's nothing to take from the poor
A:I hit your cat
B:uhh, I don't think so, what did it look like?
A:... kind of flat and runny
B: I meant before you hit it!!
A: ... uhh, scared (?)
Romans: We conquored the world.
Greek: We invented math
Romans: We invented sex
Greek: yeah, but it took the french to introduce it to women
"
oh hehe, say this horsy's name real fast
"hoof hearted"
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Chinese doesn't even have a word for kiss
"""
（二）
看了一条娱乐新闻：演小乔的林志玲说要和演周瑜的梁朝伟拍吻戏。突然好奇起来：周瑜那个年代的古人如何看待接吻？答案还未找到，倒先搜出个笑话来:
说某大学教授对学生言到："'吕'字的古意乃接吻也，口对口，很形象。"
一学生问曰："若'吕'乃接吻，则'品'字又做何解？玩儿三P乎？语未竟，又一个学生争曰："'品'字尚可忍耐，'器'字又当如何解呢？"
众学生不由哄堂，教授怒，以为竖子不可教也，摔书而去。
忍俊之余，偶也觉得此教授太望文生意了，若从"吕"字推衍出去，哪"回"字呢？小口吻大口？"合"字呢？一人吻一口？"哈"字呢？一人吻两口？"呢"字呢？吻个尼姑？
不过最后，偶倒是查出了古人接吻的种种说道儿，古人不言"吻"，说法之一是"度舌"，很传神。然最传神的还是《聊斋志异 -
狐梦》里的一句话："我谓婢子他日嫁多髭郎，刺破小吻，今果然矣！"
这是三姐讽刺新娘子的一句话，大意是说："我早说过鬼丫头将来嫁个大连吧胡子，把小嘴扎破了！" "小吻" 者
"小嘴"也，此也反证古人亲嘴不言"吻"。尚有其它种种趣事，写来赘笔，且待下回书再说。呵呵。
"""
from some news site.
（二）
看了一条娱乐新闻：演小乔的林志玲说要和演周瑜的梁朝伟拍吻戏
说某大学教授对学生言到："'吕'字的古意乃接吻也，口对口
一学生问曰："若'吕'乃接吻，则'品'字又做何解？玩儿三P乎
众学生不由哄堂，教授怒，以为竖子不可教也，摔书而去。
忍俊之余，偶也觉得此教授太望文生意了，若从"吕"字推衍出去
不过最后，偶倒是查出了古人接吻的种种说道儿，古人不言"吻"
狐梦》里的一句话："我谓婢子他日嫁多髭郎，刺破小吻，今果然矣
这是三姐讽刺新娘子的一句话，大意是说："我早说过鬼丫头将来嫁
"小嘴"也，此也反证古人亲嘴不言"吻"。尚有其它种种趣事
"""
from some news site.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
a vegitarian's confession
"Some times, I feel that eating is the most enjoyable thing in life,"
said one vegitarian...
"And watching people eat, is the second most enjoyable thing in life."
(he was obviously watching somebody chomp down on a big piece of steak)
"It's like sex, fun to have, but also fun to watch (as in porno"
...people stare at him blankly... on the verge of laughter...
"But I do have sex, you know that right?"
he added quickly, as if in an afterthought...
said one vegitarian...
"And watching people eat, is the second most enjoyable thing in life."
(he was obviously watching somebody chomp down on a big piece of steak)
"It's like sex, fun to have, but also fun to watch (as in porno"
...people stare at him blankly... on the verge of laughter...
"But I do have sex, you know that right?"
he added quickly, as if in an afterthought...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Chinese marriage ceremonies
links 1, 2, 3, 4 English ver.,百度 articles, more details, adds drinking/bow parts, and this...
- 一拜天地.
- 一鞠躬:感谢天地造化世间万物.
- 二 鞠躬:祝愿神州华夏国泰民安.
- 三鞠躬:祝愿中华大地风条雨顺五谷丰登.
- 二拜高堂
- 一鞠躬:感谢父母的养育之恩
- 二鞠躬:感谢父母对儿女的无私奉献
- 三鞠躬:祝愿父母福如东海,寿比南山
- 夫妻对拜(行夫妻大礼, no, that doesn't mean sex!!)
- 一鞠躬:祝二位新人相亲相爱,天长地久.
- 二鞠躬:祝小两口心心相印,永结同心.
- 三鞠躬:头碰头白头到老.
- 还拜客人
- 一鞠躬:谢来宾喜贺新婚喜上眉梢.
- 二鞠躬:谢喜得祝福喜得关怀.
- 三鞠躬:祝大家喜中有乐,喜酒喝好.
- 新郎新娘同饮"交杯酒"，
- 龙凤紫砂杯斟满天上雨水与地下矿泉酿造的美酒，聚天地精华，入新人血脉。
- 第一口恩恩爱爱不变味。
- 第二口：一世良缘不褪色。
- 第三口：天地作证永相随。
For those of you who are nitpickers, 网人说这个是汉族习惯。若是别族，还得喝血、摔跤，唱歌、跳舞什么的，麻烦死了，难死了！
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
correct bug to feature transition
recall Mark Twain's "lies, damned lies, and statistic(ian)?s" obligatory wiki link.
similarly, the bug to feature transition happens this way:
"Bugs, more bugs, and features!"
"Bugs, bigger bugs, and features!"
"Bugs, buggier bugs, and features!!"
"Bugs, buggy bug fixes, and features."
"Bugs, dumber bugs, and features!"
"Bugs, damned bugs, and features!"
others?
similarly, the bug to feature transition happens this way:
"Bugs, more bugs, and features!"
"Bugs, bigger bugs, and features!"
"Bugs, buggier bugs, and features!!"
"Bugs, buggy bug fixes, and features."
"Bugs, dumber bugs, and features!"
"Bugs, damned bugs, and features!"
others?
The invasion of bodysnatchers
"""
I was a happy person, ..., at least I thought I was a person to be happy.
until the Aliens invaded us in an clandestine massively distributed but gradual invasion.
Every night... the aliens come out of no where and take my body parts...
At the onset, we did not notice this. A little patch of hair here, and a bit of nail there. Some were happy that they didn't have to get hair cuts, while others wondered why their fingers hurt when they bit the nails...
Then, suddenly, one day, I woke up with out a right ear lobe. I was horrified!!
"Something is wrong!! something is wrong!!!" I yelled as I stared into the mirror for minutes and minutes.
"What's wrong???" slithered a silence.
"Something is wrong!!! something is wrong!!!" It's on the tip of my tone. "my..., my..., what's that big bald spot on my head? there's something oddly off balance about my suddenly balding head. Where's... where's.?"
uuuugh!!! I just couldn't find it! what is wrong with me!!!! "It's, it's... something is missing..."
Some calm drifted down through my spine...
"If you're missing an ear lobe, you could compare to a picture of yourself" the voice slithers again, arousingly hypnotic."
I stumble back into my bed room, where's my picture? ahh! there's one on my night stand... back to the bathroom, back to the bathroom.... let's see.. Hmm, looks right. The transparent finger pointing at the ear missing lobe looked just like the one on my head.
that night... I went through all my pictures back to the one taken at my birth... They're all like that. There's something wrong... it's... it's missing something. But if it's always been this way... and if it fell off last night, It would hurt right?
...... right.
...
Then, then,.... they took toes, and fingers, and then, eventually whole limbs... and organs... But somehow, I am never able to find anything wrong with things disappearing--they have always been missing, except for a sneaking suspicion inside that screams: "WAKE UP!!!! They're trying to take your ......" then the last part garbled, and clearly suppressed. Not quite muted, just scrambled and filtered, censored. ( I think they took something that was a pride or joy in my life. Something definitive of me... I can't say what it is, since I don't think I've ever had that... But their snickering seem to indicate it was something that I'd be sad to not have.) Then my torso shortened... Like those seen in discovery channel, where they froze a person's body and cut centimeter by centimeter to take picture of the cross section. It just kept on getting shorter... I was getting anxious... But what was I to do? I can't seem to remember what I would do in such a situation... It would appear that I do not have any facilities to respond to this situation. There aren't any instincts that would (still) appear to me to otherwise be logical... some kind of scape?
Finally, my head remains, suspended in a white space. (ohh, right, they seem to have taken furniture, and roads, and trees, and air, and earth, and all that too. But those seem so inconsequential and imaginary compared to my bald, naked, (now) ear-less, nose-less, lip-less, teeth-less head with two big round blinking eyes.
And they begin to carve into that as well. higher cognitive functions begin to fade... no no, they are taken slowly out, so that I don't miss them so much.Then something happens, as if they're tinkering with the wiring, faint remembrance of past memories, sensations, but only as if in a dream, flashes of lightening...
Then, as if returning from lunch, the aliens... are they aliens? well I call them aliens resumed their burglary: an eyeball here, a semi-sphere there... Finally, there was nothing left but the skull.
UGH! I can't think!!!!
Then, as vaguely as it begin, the lessening ended with the final vanishing of the outer of my consciousness.
But there's nothing wrong with this. I can't for the sake of goodness find any prove that I've ever existed, or that I've had a body or once thought...
"""
I was a happy person, ..., at least I thought I was a person to be happy.
until the Aliens invaded us in an clandestine massively distributed but gradual invasion.
Every night... the aliens come out of no where and take my body parts...
At the onset, we did not notice this. A little patch of hair here, and a bit of nail there. Some were happy that they didn't have to get hair cuts, while others wondered why their fingers hurt when they bit the nails...
Then, suddenly, one day, I woke up with out a right ear lobe. I was horrified!!
"Something is wrong!! something is wrong!!!" I yelled as I stared into the mirror for minutes and minutes.
"What's wrong???" slithered a silence.
"Something is wrong!!! something is wrong!!!" It's on the tip of my tone. "my..., my..., what's that big bald spot on my head? there's something oddly off balance about my suddenly balding head. Where's... where's.?"
uuuugh!!! I just couldn't find it! what is wrong with me!!!! "It's, it's... something is missing..."
Some calm drifted down through my spine...
"If you're missing an ear lobe, you could compare to a picture of yourself" the voice slithers again, arousingly hypnotic."
I stumble back into my bed room, where's my picture? ahh! there's one on my night stand... back to the bathroom, back to the bathroom.... let's see.. Hmm, looks right. The transparent finger pointing at the ear missing lobe looked just like the one on my head.
that night... I went through all my pictures back to the one taken at my birth... They're all like that. There's something wrong... it's... it's missing something. But if it's always been this way... and if it fell off last night, It would hurt right?
...... right.
...
Then, then,.... they took toes, and fingers, and then, eventually whole limbs... and organs... But somehow, I am never able to find anything wrong with things disappearing--they have always been missing, except for a sneaking suspicion inside that screams: "WAKE UP!!!! They're trying to take your ......" then the last part garbled, and clearly suppressed. Not quite muted, just scrambled and filtered, censored. ( I think they took something that was a pride or joy in my life. Something definitive of me... I can't say what it is, since I don't think I've ever had that... But their snickering seem to indicate it was something that I'd be sad to not have.) Then my torso shortened... Like those seen in discovery channel, where they froze a person's body and cut centimeter by centimeter to take picture of the cross section. It just kept on getting shorter... I was getting anxious... But what was I to do? I can't seem to remember what I would do in such a situation... It would appear that I do not have any facilities to respond to this situation. There aren't any instincts that would (still) appear to me to otherwise be logical... some kind of scape?
Finally, my head remains, suspended in a white space. (ohh, right, they seem to have taken furniture, and roads, and trees, and air, and earth, and all that too. But those seem so inconsequential and imaginary compared to my bald, naked, (now) ear-less, nose-less, lip-less, teeth-less head with two big round blinking eyes.
And they begin to carve into that as well. higher cognitive functions begin to fade... no no, they are taken slowly out, so that I don't miss them so much.Then something happens, as if they're tinkering with the wiring, faint remembrance of past memories, sensations, but only as if in a dream, flashes of lightening...
Then, as if returning from lunch, the aliens... are they aliens? well I call them aliens resumed their burglary: an eyeball here, a semi-sphere there... Finally, there was nothing left but the skull.
UGH! I can't think!!!!
Then, as vaguely as it begin, the lessening ended with the final vanishing of the outer of my consciousness.
But there's nothing wrong with this. I can't for the sake of goodness find any prove that I've ever existed, or that I've had a body or once thought...
"""
Sunday, February 17, 2008
about cocks and what nots
Funny conversation, guy brags to girls:
"so, I used to have a cock for pet back on the farm..."
realizing something, he stopped. His good natured friend said to him..
"uhh, It's called a rooster, Otherwise, you may be coming up empty."
[girls laugh...]
"so, I used to have a cock for pet back on the farm..."
realizing something, he stopped. His good natured friend said to him..
"uhh, It's called a rooster, Otherwise, you may be coming up empty."
[girls laugh...]
more mod's
”“”
钱财如粪土，仁义值千金。＝》才华如粪土，人情值千金。
“”“
also, one observation is that by hypothetical syllogism we have 仁义 is also shit. ;-)
钱财如粪土，仁义值千金。＝》才华如粪土，人情值千金。
“”“
also, one observation is that by hypothetical syllogism we have 仁义 is also shit. ;-)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Funny Vallentine poems
From wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roses_are_Red,_Violets_are_Blue
"""
They say roses are red
And violets are purple,
Sugar is sweet
And so is maple surple.
"""
They say roses are red
And violets are purple,
Sugar is so sweet
And you're so supple.
"""
They say roses are red
And violets are purple
Honey is sweet
but not as sweet as you.
"""
"""
Roses are FF0000
Violets are 0000FF
All of my bases
are belongs to you
"""
holy geek pride...
"""
They say roses are red
And violets are purple,
Sugar is sweet
And so is maple surple.
"""
They say roses are red
And violets are purple,
Sugar is so sweet
And you're so supple.
"""
They say roses are red
And violets are purple
Honey is sweet
but not as sweet as you.
"""
"""
Roses are FF0000
Violets are 0000FF
All of my bases
are belongs to you
"""
holy geek pride...
Monday, February 11, 2008
sex, marriage, and civility
"""
In any traditional civil society, frequent sexual encounter obligates the man and women to soon be engaged and locked in marriage.
In any modern civil society, it is impolite not to have sex with the girl.
"""
In any traditional civil society, frequent sexual encounter obligates the man and women to soon be engaged and locked in marriage.
In any modern civil society, it is impolite not to have sex with the girl.
"""
sex, marriage, and civility
"""
In any traditional civil society, frequent sexual encounter obligates the man and women to soon be engaged and locked in marriage.
In any modern civil society, it is impolite not to have sex with the other person.
"""
In any traditional civil society, frequent sexual encounter obligates the man and women to soon be engaged and locked in marriage.
In any modern civil society, it is impolite not to have sex with the other person.
"""
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
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