here's the full quote

A Prairie Home Companion Movie Soundtrack Lyrics

Woody Harrelson & John C. Reilly – Bad Jokes

The blind man's seein' eye dog
Pissed on the blind man's shoe
The blinds man said, "Here, Rover
Here's a piece of beef for you"
His wife said, "Don't reward him
You can't just let that pass"
The blind man said
"I gotta find his mouth
So I can kick him in the ass"

Bad jokes
Lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes
Can't get enough of 'em
Ooowhee
Bad jokes for me

You got one, Dusty?
I got one, Lefty.
Let's hear it.

When God created woman
He gave her not two breasts but three
When the middle one got in the way
God performed surgery
Woman stood before God
With the middle breast in hand
Said, "What do we do
With the useless boob?"
And God created man

Bad jokes
Lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes
Can't get enough of 'em
Ooowhee
Bad jokes for me

Gramps turned eighty the other day
And everybody was there
And he was dressed up in a brand new suit
Sitting in his big armchair
When a beautiful young naked woman
Stood up in front of the group
She offered Gramps some super sex
And he said, "I'll take the soup"

Bad jokes
Lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes
Can't get enough of 'em
Ooowhee
Bad jokes for me

You ready for another one?
Yeah, lay it on me.

Ole went to the neighborhood dance
And he won the big door prize
It was a toilet brush
And he took it home
And the next week one of the guys
Said, "Ole, how's that toilet brush?
The one you won from the neighbors?"
Ole said, "Oh, it works pretty good
But I prefer toilet paper"

Bad jokes
Lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes
Can't get enough of 'em
Ooowhee
Bad jokes for me

The farmer had a champion bull
Who bred 200 times a year
The farmer's wife said, "200 times?
Isn't that wonderful, dear?
Maybe you ought to watch him
Maybe he'll show you how"
The farmer said, "He's a heck of a bull
But it wasn't all with the same cow"

Come on, now, bad jokes
Lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes
Can't get enough of 'em
Ooowhee
Bad jokes for me

You've got another one, Dusty?
Actually I do
Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?
No, who they think did it?
Well, they don't know, but they're on the lookout for hardened criminals.

You got another one?
I got another one, Lefty.

Sven said to his friend,
"Boy, I think my wife died."
His friend said,
"Well, what do you mean, you think?"
"Well, the sex is still the same,
but the dishes are stackin' up."

Hey, Dusty.
Yeah, Lefty?
Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary?
No, I didn't.
Yeah, it runs in your jeans.

Hey, uh, heh, Lefty?
Yeah? Go ahead.
Why do they call it PMS?
PMS? Why, I don't know. Why?
'Cause Mad Cow was already taken.

Hey, Dusty.
Yeah, Lefty?
What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?
I don't know, Lefty. What do you get?
A religious movement.

Hey, uh... hey, Lefty, what did the elephant say to the naked man?
What'd he say?
It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

Come on, now.
Bad jokes
Lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes
Can't get enough of 'em
Ooowhee
Bad jokes for me
Bad jokes
Man, I love 'em
Bad jokes
Can't get enough of 'em
Ooowhee
Bad...whoo...jokes for me

diarrhea

diarrhea is hereditary

'cos it runs in your jeans!

hawhawhaw!!!

on butts and knots

okay, after a lot of soul searching I finally resolved the problem that has bugged me for years...

In talking about girls' feminine features, we often speak of their 屁股，如果是说斯文点就是臀(tun2)部。

但是记得小时候，妈妈买过什么dian4子肉。（所以也说过某女子之dian4部,被人取笑一番）。但是不服气，明明记得买过那个肉，问了一大转，和多个朋友，而且还有跟女生们深入研究，终究还是达到一个结论，就是，我妈妈当年是不是不认字，把臀读成殿？网上还有人开玩笑说什么读字只读一半什么的。


把百度，谷歌搜完了，被无数女孩子笑话后，还是找不到有人用猪臀部做菜。更不觉的当年妈妈卖国猪屁股肉。明明买了“电字肉”。小时候记忆力很好，不会记错呀！！！


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后来，发现好像那个东西叫腱子肉。(也是一道菜)

This is the piece of meat leading up to the butt and torso.... So... actually, I wasn't that far off, and in some instances, that piece of meat is considerably sexy:

Or...

so...., finally, guys, and girls, watch those 腱子肉of yours. ;-)

oh, and for the people out there who do cook meat, this piece of meat appears both in cows and in pigs.



sigh, this blog entry cannot do the humor and irony of my situation justice...


[[continuation]]
So, it turns out that after our online conversation, the girl went and talked to her mom about it....

Sigh,
I said to her,
you're supposed to show me the jiazirou, and NOT tell your mom; don't tell her and not show me... it kind of put me in a really bad light, don't you think?


sigh....