The Chinese are historically useless

This was an extended conversation with dad


"""
Me: Dad, I remember a childhood story recently. The old man said to young man, you cannot sell oil, because you have not mastered the craft. The young man obviously disagrees. So the old man put a coin (Chinese coin used to be round and have square holes in the middle 1/8" by 1/8") on top of a jar and poured from a ladle into the jar through the coin hole. The young man was impressed and gave up his dream to sell oil.

Dad: yes, I know that story well. the parable teaches young people to work hard at their craft and not jump into starting their own business to eagerly.

Me: Yeah, but look, I recently tried that with olive oil. I poured olive oil from a can into a bottle that has an opening not much bigger than a coin's hole, and it's actually pretty easy. Oil flows pretty smoothly and has lower surface tension and higher viscosity than water, so it flows in streams and tend to stay in stream even when you move slightly.

Me: I think this parable should teach Chinese kids not to listen to their parents and actually try these things and see how hard they are…

Dad:… ahh, but you didn't read the story very carefully, the old man poured oil from a ladle held in one hand above his head standing straight the whole time into a bottle on the ground with that coin at the opening. You were probably at your sink, the large jar of olive oil resting on the edge of the sink, two hands holding it pouring into the bottle, and you wouldn't even notice spillage because the bottle is used and already greasy.

Me: Yeah, but why would I ever want to pour oil from a ladle standing straight into bottle on the ground? That is absurd.

Dad: Nontheless, the moral holds true, people experienced in something can do harder things than people not experienced, that's why they should be in charge and not some young kid.

Me: Do you want me to buy you some Facebook stock when it IPOs?


Dad: Only for the short run, not too sure about "long term sustainable competitive advantage" of that company…

Me: …. Here we go again with the old people idea about how things should work.


"""

"Honesty is the Foundation to a Health Relationship"

"Honesty is the Foundation to a Health Relationship"

An old adage. I find myself thinking of this on this Easter Sunday Afternoon. Obviously, honesty facilitate happiness and operational cohesion inside a family.  But somebody says, trust is more important. It's okay to allow leeways for small white lies, but not okay if there is no trust.

This is stating an obvious effect caused by complete honest is that the couple trust each other both in what is communicated and in the the intentions and the actions of the other. But the observation is indeed correct that even if a couple is completely honest to each other but lack in trust, then the couple still cannot be happy.

Honesty in it's more general sense insist that we do not make inferences and decisions based on premises that are known to be untrue or ignoring information available to us just because it forces inferences and decisions in an undesirable direction.

However trust, in it's more general sense addresses our believes about the world. My trusting my wife means I believe what she says. My trusting my wife means I believe she has my, or our, rather, best interest at heart. Furthermore, I believe that her actions are to the best of our interest--that is to say, I trust not only in her intention but her ability.

Human faculties of observation and reasoning obviously play a very large role in both of these aspects of our relationship, however we should assume these to be god given and all well and sound enough.

Then it would appear that we have been missing an important aspect of relationship, which is that in addition to being honest, we must as well be trusting. Trust might mitigate our human frailties in earnestness. Honesty can help to moderate the negative effect of trust:

"Honey, I lost our retirement savings from last week's market crash."

"Oh, that's okay, dear, I'm glad you told me, because we can work on earning it all back. oh and also, let's take away your e*Trade account for now..." (because we have now adjusted both of our believes in "our" ability to make money in the stock market and also acted to the best of our interest.)


Humor aside, the new slogan will be:

"Trust and Honesty are the Foundation to a

Lasting Healthy Relationship"