silliness

famous saying: "Some people are born gay, but others have gayness thrust upon them."


famous saying:"uhhh, I think that's: some are people born great, some achieve greatness, while others have greatness thrust upon them"... Otherwise, it would be quite disgusting.

A pick up line that actually works.

guy: hey, you've got flat chest, I've got small. Let's get together and make some small.
girl: (reluctantly), ok...
guy: WHAT?? really??

ｓｏｍｅ ｃｏｏｌ ｓａｙｉｎｇｓ

This is pretty bad... "一心不专,两手无用,三生不幸,四海无家,五音不全,六根不净,七窍不通,八顽不灵,九死无生,十分无用!" from here.

here are some other sayings from baidu knows:

暗送秋波
金兰之交
老牛舔犊
魂牵梦萦
古道热肠
耿耿忠心耳鬓厮磨


haha :)

haha sex jokes

gf (to bf): have you been having sex behind my back??
bf:.... uhh, you didn't know that was me??

bf: (oops, climax too early)
gf: don't worry, that happens to a lot of guys
bf: waita minute, who's this " a lot of guys ", and if it's happening to so many of us, that it is your fault?

A letter to myself in a parallel universe

"""
Dear myself, how do you do?

I am writing, because I cannot stand my current circumstances any longer. A company's future, depends only on it's competitive practices and not it's legal and ethical standards and practices. From what I've seen of conducts of many companies, their executives down to lower management have little respect for very basic employee rights. Such actions are spawn by a cultural tradition of irreverence to some most fundamental things that humanity has come to respect in its long torturous journey. Sadly, there is nothing that can be done about it. Those that suffer, will continue to suffer--forever; those that cause the suffering, will do so happily earning their large wages, worldly respect, and enjoying pissing and shitting on other people's heads and shoulders. Millenniums of human civilization, apex of this culmination, has come to such proudly pitiful fear driven social disorder.

Such is the world that I live in. How about your world?
I hope you had a nice day.

Always yours truly parallel.

Minor Loser
"""

The More Loving One

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

--W. H. Auden

Knocked up

"""


Knocked up, though initially appearing to be a very cruel movie about white-trash, good-for-nothing, poor, weed smoking insult to American Jews. Eventually, it turned out to be a sweet heart warming comedy about coming together, and revival of a certain American spirit.

The movie starts with some frat-like partying of some unemployeed friends living in LA. they identify themselves as Jews by joking about hair, and various cultural events. The happy, but ultimately depressing circumstance is that they have been losers for several generations. Ben Stone, is an unemployed single guy who "only smokes weed in the morning". It is eventually revealed that Ben's father, has a life filled with divorses and drug consumption. Supposedly, this is a fairly strong insult on the Stone family, if it existed for real.

Alison is a hot blonde who got a job with E! entertainment (on camera), and parties until she has unprotected sex with Ben and becomes pregnant--"Knocked Up".

Ben is not a responsible person and has no job nor any skills. After finding out that he's knocked up Alison, he becomes a sweet and increasingly responsible person and takes on a job, asks Alison to marry him, and persists, after she refuses(while pregnant), until she does. Finally, he becomes the "man" of the family successfully dealing with very stressful time with controlling family member (Alison's sister), Surprise disappearance of Alison's doctor (at a Bar Mitzvahs, of all things), and over bearing professional Asian doctor who threaten to quit when Alison made unusual request about the birth procedure...

So, all's well that ends well... But it sure got a little messed up there for a while when for entire scenes at a time, the movie is entirely dedicated to the display of various disgusting American traits on some poor Jewish people.

Being a fellow over weight person (Ben's a little chubby), I think it's a good story that he got a hot blonde chick so easily... Even if he had to become a family man eventually.


"""

I am nobody! Who are you?

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us--don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!


--Emily Dickinson

half way into the date

guy: "Did anybody tell you that you are too good to be true?"
girl:"No, but they did tell me that I'm too truthfully to be good."
[girl:"Oh, and? btw! You suck!"]

万事皆上品，唯有计算低

读书的人，不管是读什么，学业不成，没有工作，就搞计算机。我见到地就有本来是学化学，化工，物理，机械, 土木, 艺术，生物，数学，体育，还有个搞音乐。难道，真的就这么容易吗？难道高计算机真的是最后的选择吗？

Just because you are full of shit

Coworker:"""

Just be cause you are full of shit, don't assume the rest of us are.


"""

Defensive guy with performance anxiety

"hey! hey!! watch it!! I'm not gay, just a little retarded that's all."

Jealous Chinese dude

Jealous Chinese dude says:

"All Chinese girls want to fuck is white men and Chinese guys who went to Tsinghua."

... after a minute..., and couple more shots...
"All that a Chinese girl wants to fuck is white man, black man, rich man, and Chinese guys who went to Tsinghua University."

... Another minute passes...

"All that a Chinese girl wants to fuck are white men, black men, rich men, smart men, men with reasonably large dick, and Chinese "men" who went to Tsinghua University."

... Then after another copule of minutes... his brain said...

"Oh... you mean they're girls?"

argument with dad

son: [insults dad]
dad: yeah, well at least I had your mom!

Some sayings

"Our meetings took place in a curious atomsphere of assumed consensus"
--Arthur Schlesinger Jr.


"Worldly wisdom teaches that it is better for reputation to fail conventionally then to succeed unconventionally."
The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money,
--John Maynard Keynes.

"While markets appear to work in practice, we are not sure how they work in theory"
-- Maureen O'Hara

poem from volkswagen commercial

Conflict boils over like an angry sludge
Politicians lie to us like they've got a grudge
We're in a decaying spiral of fevered verocity
.
.
.
Hope, springs !!

An extra degree of freedom

In addition to "Free as in beer", and "Free as in speech", another use of Free is "Is this girl free to date", and "Is this waffle free for the taking". In the sense that it is unclaimed, unallocated(disk blocks for example), and uncommitted(girls w/o bf's).



So, next time when somebody says: "Is this free?" you have yet another liberty to consider. ;-)

Fun work place conversation

Men and women:

Men and women..., said a coworker one day, are like propeller air planes and internal combustion engine cars... One, though primitive, can be jump started just by playing with the propellers... where as the other one, however advanced, and computer controlled, when the battery dies, there's nothing u can do about it...

bfb(from gmail list)

Rotten Bay Losers is one of Bay Area's premier Chinese gathering organization. After a few long years of very tough American scholastic work, these enterprising Chinese young men and young women gather in their off-hours to drink, eat, and to enjoy all the merriments of life.

The Rotten Bay Loser women are the most attractive among all of Chinese women. This is not so impressive, except that that is a population almost a half of a quarter of the entire human race. They are black blonde's: their long curly hair... drenched in pheromone, constantly luring the male losers. Their twinkly eyes, possess the same qualities as the geisha's..., with one longing glimpse, she can bring a man to his knees. Their heads, always held high, nobly. Their elegant arms, slender, flexible as any Indian yogi's, clean as jade, soft as tofu, yet strong as an ox so as to be able to carry babies. Their torsos, never overweight, never quite covered correctly, inspire a sense of controversy, always moving with the grace of Arabian belly dancers. And the legs, their beautiful, sexy Amazonian legs comes with guarantee to shrink any man's pants. The songs of the Loser's women are in yet another league of their own.

So, next time, when you visit the bay, make sure to join the rotten losers, where you can meet these gorgeously rotten babes.

wedding vow

[standing in the ocean naked] (from Thank God You are Here)

Men:
When I'm wet,
You are wet,
When I'm dry,
you are dry,
When I sing,
you listen.